


This Can't Fade

by gtgrandom



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-26 15:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9908495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gtgrandom/pseuds/gtgrandom
Summary: A traitor. A friend. A partner. (Zutara)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I'm in the process of transferring some of my fics over now that I have an Ao3 account. Expect to see some Zutara, Bellarke, and Marichat!

She refused to sleep the first night.

She didn't—wouldn't—trust Zuko. She'd been down that road before with him, Jet, Hama. Now she was no longer naïve. She wouldn't fall for his act.

No matter how wounded he'd looked after she'd threatened him, or how hopeful and grateful he'd been when they'd accepted him into their group. Despite that resigned expression he'd worn when she doused him with water. Despite.

He was a liar and a fake.

And she _knew_ he was plotting something.

So she sat outside Zuko's door and waited for the moment he'd betray them.

And she waited.

And waited.

Until the stones grew a shadow, and she looked up, a mixed sense of triumph and despair washing over her as her eyes landed on the Fire Nation Prince.

"What are you doing?" he asked. His hair was a mess, as though he'd been tossing and turning.  

"I should be asking you that," she said darkly, her hands twitching for her waterskin.

"I couldn't sleep."

She glared.

"Every time I shut my eyes my mistakes come flying back," he admitted. When she didn't reply, he cocked his head at her and frowned. "Aren't you cold?"

She hadn't worn her parka, hoping the chill would keep her alert. She'd be lying if she said she didn't have goosebumps though.

"I'm fine." The response was crisp. Probably more than he deserved.

Wait. _No._ He deserved every ounce of ice she had to offer.

He nodded and disappeared into his room. At first she thought she'd won, she'd sent him back, foiled his plans. But then he returned with his cloak. He threw it at her and she caught it, eyes narrowing.

"I said I was fine."

His eyes lit with amusement. "You're a bad liar."

And he went back to bed.

 *****

The next morning Zuko found her curled up at the foot of his door, stubbornly buried in the black and red material.

Sound asleep.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Katara didn't understand how everyone could suddenly adore Zuko.

Aang treated him like his new best friend.  Sokka had come to respect the traitor.  Toph had given him a nickname.  And even Suki, who had lost her entire village to the prince, seemed rather impartial about his company.  

Without a hint of caution her friends had succumbed to Zuko's dorky charm and awkwardness.

And Zuko was smiling and helping and acting like one of them, and she couldn't take it.

Her father noticed the way she scrubbed the air temple's dishes a little too hard, and he touched her shoulder.

"Are you okay, Katara?"

She didn't answer for a moment, seething.

"Everyone just…accepts it."

"Accepts what?" 

" _Him_ …Zuko."

Hakoda nodded in understanding. "Sokka told me how he's chased you around the world, and now he's become the Avatar's teacher."

"Yeah, well, it's more than that.  It's...more of a personal thing, I guess."

Her father tensed, shoulders taut, spine straight. "Katara…has he hurt you?"

She shook her head. "No. I mean yes…but not like that."

Hakoda's gaze hardened.

She rolled her eyes. "I just…I trusted him before anyone else, back in Ba Sing Se, and he betrayed us. I can't find it in me to forgive him."

Her father thought this over, taking the overly-clean dish from her hands and drying it with his tunic. "I think it's wise to be cautious," he said slowly, and her eyes lit.

Someone on her side. Finally.

"But," he continued, "I've made plenty of mistakes when I thought they were the right decisions. Like leaving you and Sokka when you were so small."

"Dad…"

"I'm just saying, Zuko comes from a different culture, a different lifestyle than you and me. He grew up with the Firelord as his father, Katara. Can you imagine? He was banished from his country, and thought pursuing the Avatar was the right thing to do."

Katara frowned. "By that rationale, you could say that the Firelord thinks _he's_  'doing the right thing' by taking over the world. You can't judge people based on their _intentions_."

Hakoda smiled sadly and kissed her forehead. "Then let's hope we all have the courage to act."

*****

"It wasn't a doll, it was an action figure!"

"Sokka, it was a doll," Katara said, and the others' laughter echoed through the temple.

"What about you, Zuko?" Aang asked the firebender, who stood just apart from the group. "What was your favorite toy as a kid?"

"I didn't have toys. My father thought they'd distract me from bending lessons," Zuko said flatly, and Aang deflated.

Katara refrained from scoffing. Here he went again—trying to win them over through pity. Albeit, it seemed to be working, as she noticed the collective sympathy from her friends.

When Zuko realized he'd burned the mood, he frowned in thought. "I did have a knife."

"A knife?" Katara blurted harshly.

 _Seriously_?

"This one," Zuko said, and he withdrew the old blade from his cloak. The knife was small, weathered with age. "I got it when I was just a kid. It's one of the only things I've kept with me from the Fire Nation."

"Because it reminds you of their violent nature?" Katara mocked.

"Because it reminds me of my Uncle."

_Oh._

She didn't need to be berated to comprehend the consequence of her words.

For the first time, she felt bad for her insults. She felt even worse at the look that crossed his face.

The air was tense between them, and she swallowed her pride and hate and hurt. She knew how much Iroh meant to him. Out of all Zuko's flaws, all the puzzle pieces she despised, Iroh was the one piece that made him tolerable.

"Can I see it?" she whispered, as her way of apology.

Zuko blinked at her. Slowly, almost reluctantly, he passed the knife into her hands.

She unsheathed the blade carefully, the carvings reflected in the moonlight.

"Never give up without a fight," she read. She glanced up at Zuko, who sat watching her, studying her, and for once she didn't turn away. She stared back.

She used to think his eyes were deadly—the color of a raging fire—but she'd been wrong. They weren't that harsh. They were softer, like dying embers.

Warm.

"What? It has an engraving? Lemme see!" Sokka yelled, and he ripped the blade out of her hands.

Katara was grateful for the distraction, and she fell back into her role of scolding Sokka, a zone of familiarity.

It was known territory, black and white, not the gray storm that was Zuko.


	3. Chapter 3

Katara felt this weight fly from her shoulders as she turned from the man who had murdered her mother. With the pressure gone, it seemed to release all the water inside her, and she began to cry.

She stood in the rain, sobbing, until she sensed Zuko standing behind her.

She wiped her eyes and turned to him, embarrassed, and his expression surprised her. It was concern, admiration, sorrow, all in one.

"That was brave of you," he said. His hair was drenched, and he looked younger somehow, vulnerable.

"…I couldn't do it," she sniffed. "After everything…"

The rain splashed against the cobblestone path, bouncing back up again, resilient.

"No," Zuko said, and the sternness in his voice made her look up at his auburn gaze, cooled copper. "You chose _not_ to. You chose to do the right thing. Like always."

She bit her lip, and he gave a small smile, one of the few she'd ever seen from Zuko, and she just…melted.

He caught her, not in a hug, but a sort of net, to keep her from falling into another dark place. She grabbed a fistful of his tunic and buried her face in his chest to hide from the world. Zuko finally brought his arms around her, warm, strong, tentative, and she'd never admit it out loud, but she felt safer than she'd felt in a very long time.

She didn't _need_ to bend the rain away.

Not when she had Zuko.


	4. Chapter 4

"You and Zuko seem to be getting along really well now, Katara," Aang said with a smile.

He'd broken out in a terrible sweat, and he drained an entire jug of water in seconds. Sure Zuko's training regimen was demanding, but Katara had already seen the progress. Aang had picked up firebending quicker than any of the other elements, and she couldn't deny it was, in part, because of Zuko.

She nodded. "Zuko's not so bad after all…I _guess_."

Her eyes flickered to the banished prince. He was steaming the sweat off his body, raking a hand through his hair, out of his eyes, and she had to force the blush from creeping up her neck.

"What happened on that trip of yours that made you forgive him?" Aang ventured.

Katara shrugged. They hadn't spoken about the events from that evening to anyone. Just vague details mostly. "Nothing, Aang. It was probably just the same thing that brought you two closer when you went to see the sun warriors. Somehow, going on an adventure with that hothead just…makes the anger disappear."

Aang grinned, dropping the subject, but his eyes were still curious.

"I know you're the Avatar, but you still have work to do!" Zuko bellowed from the courtyard. He caught Katara's gaze and his face softened, just barely, before molding itself into mock annoyance. "Any day now, Aang."

Aang rolled his eyes, though his posture revealed everything.  He was enjoying himself.

"Coming, your highness."

Katara giggled, watching the two of them fall back into it, sending flames darting into the sky. 

She couldn't help but notice how much taller Zuko was than Aang. How he was built differently, the length of his torso, his muscle mass. Of course, he had several years on Aang, but…

Toph snickered, and Katara glanced at her peculiarly.

"What? What's so funny?"

Toph just grinned her sly grin. "Nothing, Sugar Queen."


	5. Chapter 5

"No way! Earth totally beats air on any day."

Katara sat down at the campfire where the others were arguing. "What are you talking about?"

Toph scowled. "Aang's trying to convince me that an airbender could take an earthbender."

"I said it was possible."

"Yeah, Twinkletoes, but it isn't."

Katara looked at Zuko, who shrugged disinterestedly.

"Well we all know that water beats both of them," Sokka, the nonbender, supplied knowledgeably.

Toph snorted. "Sugar Queen? She couldn't beat me if she tried."

"We're not talking about us, though, Toph," Aang said, and Katara shot him a look. "Not that Katara couldn't take you—"

_"What?!"_

"I'm just saying," Aang sighed, "that this is element vs element. Bending style and master don't count."

"Then in that case, fire wins," Zuko stated, blunt as ever.

Katara quirked an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?" 

He nodded. "Air beats water, earth beats air, and fire beats earth."

"And water beats fire," Katara concluded.

Zuko blinked at her. "No."

"Uh, yeah. Water douses fire." She smirked. "My _spit_ could put out your spark before you even lifted your hand."

Sokka oooh'd at that one, murmuring something about 'Southern Water Tribe' between bites of jerky.

Zuko shrugged. "Okay, but Fire also evaporates water. I could turn your spit to steam in seconds."

Katara smirked, sitting up on her knees. "Oh really?"

Zuko's eyes flashed.

"Prove it."

They stared at each other over the fire, smiles growing.

Then Zuko breathed out a small flame, and Aang yelled at them to _think this through_ , and suddenly they were bending vapor.

Katara laughed as the flames shot in her direction, and she used the water from the fountain to block the heat and send ice shards back. Toph bended a chair out of rock so she could "observe" the fight properly. Sokka had yanked Suki out of range, screaming. Aang just sighed in defeat and reclined against Appa.

Zuko's technique was so fluid, like waterbending, but with force, with anger. He was better than before.

Katara hadn't practiced like this in days, and master against master, water against its greatest enemy, she utilized skills she didn't even know she harbored. When they both brought out their whips at the same instant, they broke out in grins.

Just like old times.

The whips collided, erupting in smoke and steam, and for a second, Katara couldn't see. Just as she condensed the water vapor molecules, Zuko appeared in front of her. The intensity in his eyes— the proximity—she forgot where she was. She forgot this was pretend.

She brought the water into him like a sucker punch, and he flew backwards, skidding along the pavement.

Then, to her horror, over the edge of the temple.

"Zuko!" she shrieked.

She scrambled toward the crumbling edge, horrified, terrified of what she'd done. She hadn't meant to overreact. She'd acted so impulsively.

Her heart shuddered as she leaned over the side, and then sank into a deep relief.

Zuko was dangling off the side of the temple by one arm, frowning up at her.

"That seemed kind of personal," he said.

She laughed and reached down to help him up, clasping his warm arms. "I'm so sorry."

But before she could pull him over, the entire corner of the platform crumbled, and they plummeted with the ancient stones.

Katara was too shocked to scream. The air whistled past her as she dropped with Zuko to their untimely deaths.

Now? Really? When they were so close to defeating the Firelord?

COME ON.

As the cliff passed by her in blurs of gray and brown, something curled around her flailing arms. Was that...Zuko? The hold around her tightened, and there was a burst of flame beside her.  They shot sideways so hard she got whiplash.

_Zuko._

They crashed hard against rock and rolled unceremoniously into a small alcove in the cliff. A cave.

When she could breathe again, Katara coughed and groaned. Her _shoulder_.

They'd skidded a few meters from the mouth of the cave. Dimming sunlight revealed a tunnel of stalagmites and too many cobwebs for her liking. But it was far better than lying dead at the bottom of the canyon.

Zuko had saved her life.

She turned to thank him, but the sight made her lose any comprehensive thoughts.

Zuko's head was bleeding, drenching his hair and the floor of the cave in red. He clenched his jaw, his eyes shut tight. He twisted on the ground, trying to sit up.

"Stop it," she said, and she knelt next to him. When he didn't stop squirming she smacked him.

"Ow."

"Stop. You're just making it worse."

Carefully, she touched his head, bending the blood into a clot.

"Owww."

"Shh." She didn't have any water to bend with, fresh out from her fight. She wouldn't be able to heal him like usual—she would have to bloodbend. So, deftly, she drew the fresh blood back into his body, as he lay there, wincing. She moved her hands to his chest, and he flinched. "Does it hurt?" she asked.

He gave a very slight nod.

Katara closed her eyes and focused on the internal damage. After a few minutes, the blood dripping from Zuko's nose disappeared, and everything inside was back to its normal function. Roughly. She'd need to make a few tweaks when they got back.

She knew it wouldn't take long for Aang to glide down the cliffside and find them, or for Toph to sense them in the caves. They would be alright.

"Thanks," Zuko murmured, his head in her lap. She leaned against the wall of the cave, looking down at him.

"Thank _you_ ," she said quietly. "You…saved us from falling. And then you shielded me when he hit the rocks. You took the impact."

He smiled a little. "Rough landing."

She shook her head, chuckling. "You're actually kind of funny, Zuko."

She knew he'd shrug if it hadn't pained him. "I think you're the first person to tell me that."

Her fingers mindlessly swept his hair from his face, then—mindlessly —traced his scar. "I'm sorry I attacked you like that," she said. "I had a flashback or something. You frightened me."

"You still see me as your enemy?" The hurt in his voice made something inside of her break.

"No," she said instantly. "No, I just…sometimes I scare myself. I don't know what I'm capable of. And it scares me."

Bloodbending. Her emotional shell. Her hostility. It all terrified her.

To attack him so recklessly? Who... _what_ had she become?

Zuko frowned. "You're powerful…but you are the one person I know who could handle all the power in the world, Katara. If Uncle were here, he'd say something like, only those who fear power should lead, or something." His face fell, as it often did when Iroh came up.

At first Katara hadn't understood their relationship. But she'd come to realize that Iroh was the catalyst for Zuko's transformation.  He was a good man, and he was all Zuko had.  At least...all he used to have. 

She twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "So…does this mean that water beats fire after all?"

His eyes pinched with a smile. "I don't think either one is stronger," he confessed. "I think they compliment each other. They're the same. They balance each other out."

"Sun and moon, yin and yang…they kind of need each other," Katara whispered, and he sobered, looking up at her strangely.

"Yeah. They do."


	6. Chapter 6

Katara's nails were damaged.

All the fighting, the camping, the traveling, had stubbed her nails into odd little shapes. Yep. She actually hated her hands. They were supposed to be long and delicate and lean like a waterbender's. But they were small and dark and calloused.

_Like a fighter's_ , her father would say.

Okay.

So maybe she was trying to distract herself from the real problem.

The real problem being Aang.   Aang  and his romantic feelings.

She stared out at the churning sea, nostalgic for the days when she didn't have to worry about boys.   When it was just her and her brother and Gran Gran trying to survive the winter.

Aang was the avatar. He was adorable. He was fun. He was powerful.

But he was Aang.

She told him she didn't know how to feel right now. And then he'd gone and kissed her like that. Again.

She didn't feel that way towards him.  She loved Aang, of course she did.  But it was love that stemmed from friendship and gratitude, not desire.  It wasn't how she'd felt with Jet.  Or even Haru, potentially. 

It wasn't that Aang was like a brother to her.  The idea of kissing him wasn't repulsive.  But...it was inappropriate.  Like kissing someone too young, someone she was _responsible_ for.  Someone who wasn't ready, despite what he said. 

So how on earth was she supposed to convey her lack of interest in Aang? One of her best friends? The avatar? If she broke his heart in the middle of this war, what damage could it do? Was it her duty to make sure he got through this emotionally intact?

"If one more person tells me that my scar is on the wrong side I'm leaving," Zuko grumbled, emerging from the shadows.

Katara tried to smile, but she failed pretty miserably.

Zuko didn't ask. He just leaned against the railing and breathed in the ocean.

It's what she liked about him the most, probably. His silence. His maturity. His understanding. They had so much in common that it was easy to know what the other was thinking.

Aang would be trying to weed out her insecurities right about now. But Zuko didn't pry. Or maybe he just didn't care.

He probably didn't care.

"Aang seems angry," he noted, stealing a glance at her.

"You could say that," she said. "He's insecure about our relationship."

"Ah. _Relationship_."

Katara frowned at his demeaning tone. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged. "Nothing. It's just weird picturing Aang with…you…"

"Why? I'm not _good_ enough for the Avatar?" she jeered. She didn't know why she was acting so defensive. She couldn't picture her with Aang either, to be honest.

Zuko shook his head. "That's not what I meant.  He just…seems so much like a kid to me now. I mean, that's what makes him special. He's just a kid, he's an idealist. But a kid _dating_ someone?"

"A kid defeating the Firelord?" she countered.

"Touché."

Zuko saw it too. He saw how she was always taking care of him.

"Then again," Zuko went on, "you're only what, fourteen?"

Katara crossed her arms. "Yeah, so?"

"Can you really experience love at fourteen, anyway?"

Why was he patronizing her? "You're only sixteen. Are you telling me you've never been in love?"

Zuko frowned, and his eyes grew cloudy.

Katara's eyes widened. "Oh."

"Yeah." He sighed. "I mean…at one point I think I was. I don't know. It's complicated."

Katara rolled her eyes. "You probably did something stupid, right?"

He nodded, closing his eyes. "I left her, without a proper goodbye."

Katara felt something within her chest deteriorate. Zuko left someone in the Fire Nation behind so he could help them. He'd broken his own heart.

"Zuko, you're doing the right thing. If she couldn't see that—"

"I think she did, eventually. She turned against Azula when my life was on the line. But either way, it's over. And it's my fault."

Katara frowned. Azula?

Sokka had told them all of their theatrical escape from the Boiling Rock, how Azula had found them, and how Mai had fought the guards.

"You were in love with _Mai_?" she cried.  Really?

"We were dating, on and off. Why are you so surprised?"

Katara reddened. She hadn't meant to sound so incredulous. "You seem like such different people. Mai's pretty. But honestly, kind of scary. And you're scary too sometimes, but not _that_ scary."

Zuko grinned, reminiscent. "Yeah, but that's what I like about her. She doesn't let other people's desires conquer her own. She lives for herself and her own happiness…she has a lot of sharp edges."

"What about yours, Zuko?"

His brows furrowed. "What?"

"Your desires? Did she fight for your happiness too?"

He shrugged. "Not even mine."

"Wasn't that hard?"

"Love's hard."

They looked out at the sea, and a breeze engulfed them, gently spinning their hair around their faces.

"Well, when all this is over, I'll help you get her back," Katara decided.

Zuko stared at her. "Mai?"

"Yes.  I'll train you to be the best boyfriend you can be. There's no way she'll say no." 

"That's..."

"A fantastic idea, Katara?  Yes. Yes it is."

He huffed fondly.  "Fine. But just know that…that I'm here for you too. If you want to talk about you and Aang. I know you'd probably prefer to talk with Toph or Suki…but—"

Katara placed her hand on his and smiled. "Alright."

Zuko may have blushed—it was too dark to tell.

"Alright."


	7. Chapter 7

"And then, of all the people in the world, Zuko comes tumbling down into the catacombs," Katara revealed, and Zuko sighed, remembering her pissed face.

"Wait so then what happened?" Suki asked.

"Well then Aang, Toph, and I—" Sokka began, but Suki punched his sentence away.

"No, with Katara and Zuko? I mean, you guys hated each other then! How did you not kill each other down there?"

Katara looked at Zuko, who suddenly seemed very interested in the contents of his soup.

"Well…I yelled at him for a good while," Katara chuckled, thinking back. "And he just sat there, taking it. I was so mad. I wanted him to get angry back at me, but he didn't."

"I was terrified," Zuko confessed, and Toph snorted.

"But…" Katara continued, "I explained how the Fire Nation took my mother away from me, and he said…" she trailed off. The story was too personal to share. It was the first time she'd seen Zuko as a friend, as someone who needed saving. Before it all went to hell.

"We realized we had more in common than we thought," Zuko said, and she looked at him, grateful for the rescue. "Then Katara said she hated my face—"

"I DID NOT!"

"—and she offered to heal it with her special spirit water," Zuko grinned.

Katara flushed as she recounted her bold actions—reaching out, caressing Zuko's scar, feeling so trustful, so open, with a stranger. A boy who had once tied her to a tree.

"Wait," Aang said suddenly. "You were going to use the water from the oasis to heal Zuko's scar?"

Katara nodded, her smile fading.

Aang was tense, rigid. "But you used that water to save my life, Katara. If you had used it on Zuko, I would have died...we could have lost _everything_..."

"Aang, it's fine," she said, frowning at him for overreacting. "It all worked out, right?"

The boy's panic died, and he glared at his food. "Yeah."

*****

Katara sat at the edge of the river, feet dipped in the water. She drew the water up along her limbs, over her arms, up her shoulders, where her muscles were taut from training Aang.

Aang.

What he had said was getting to her. As always.

If she had given Zuko the water instead, healed his scar, would the prince still have betrayed her? Maybe she wouldn't have needed to save Aang at all. Maybe things could have turned out differently.

It was probably selfish to think that way, after everything they'd been through.

Plus, she couldn't exactly picture Zuko without his scar. It just…wasn't Zuko.

"Are you hurt?"

Katara looked behind her.

Zuko was standing there in the trees, arms crossed, gloomy as ever. But concerned.

"Just a little sore from earlier."

Zuko moved forward, and she watched him reach for her, placing his hand on the small of her back.

"What—"

Her breath abandoned her. She could feel the warmth, the heat, sprout out from his touch and over her body. He moved his hand up over her spine to her neck, and she dipped her head.  The sensation was something new entirely, like a warm bath, but so much better. She closed her eyes, letting it envelop her.

She finally tilted her head back to look at him, and he was watching her, hands resting on her shoulders.

"That was amazing," she gushed.

He smirked and sat down next to her on the river bank. "Heat can heal too, if used right. Uncle taught me."

Katara was beginning to learn a lot about fire. It could be destructive and deadly, but also soft, embracing, like the hearth of a home.

It was a paradox. And so was Zuko.

Zuko, whom she knew nearly nothing about.

"Zuko," she whispered. "What…happened to your mother?"

He didn't seem surprised by the change in topic, just sad, wistful. "My grandfather ordered my father to kill me, and she…intervened. She was banished, and I never saw her after that. This whole time…I thought she was dead. But before I left, my father told me she's out there somewhere. She's alive."

Katara bit her lip. "I'm sorry you had to grow up without her. I mean, I hate it when people say that, but I really am."

He gave her a small, grateful smile.

"Maybe…maybe when this is over, we can search for her," Katara said. "We tracked down Yon Rha, we could track her down too."

Zuko stared at her. "That's….you'd do that?"

"Of course."

He contemplated her offer, then shook his head. "I wouldn't want her to see what I've become. I've made too many mistakes. She'd be disappointed. She probably is, and that's why she never came back."

Katara rolled her eyes. "If you keep beating yourself up, Mai's never going to take you back, Zuko." She leaned forward, so he had no choice but to look at her. "Yes, obviously you've done some stupid things. But you've changed. And I think you've always been this way, deep down."

"What way?"

"Good," she said softly.

Zuko looked down at his hands, but Katara could tell he'd taken what she said to heart. She'd never realized how much of an innocent dork Zuko was. He was so young inside, behind the dark bangs and the copper eyes. Just an awkward teenager, with real feelings.

She'd been so wrong about him, treated him so terribly, when all along he'd been just as damaged as she was.

"So what was she like?"

"My mom?" Zuko asked. Katara nodded eagerly. "She…she was beautiful. She loved the Fire Nation, but especially the people, our potential. She was the complete opposite of Ozai and Azula."

"So…like you?" Katara said.

Zuko eyed her warily. "...Did you just call me beautiful?"

She thrust a whip of river water at him, and he evaporated it just as quickly, smiling.

They talked about their lives growing up in separate worlds. Their siblings, their distant fathers, the fact that they were both expected to marry so young. Their mothers' love for Turtle Ducks or baby Polar Bear Dogs. How Gran Gran and Iroh would probably hit it off. Zuko's knife and Katara's necklace. How Katara had grown up in an isolated region, but surrounded by friends and family, while Zuko had his entire kingdom, but grew up alone.

They talked about everything.

And the night listened, and it hummed, satisfied.


	8. Chapter 8

Toph loved listening to them.  To their banter.

It was her guilty pleasure.

"Ugh, my honor! Ugh, my scar! Ugh, everyone hates me!"

"I don't sound like that!"

"You do too."

Toph snorted.  Forget opposites attract, these two  _collided._ But it was a collision course the world saw coming.  One the world looked upon like an astronomical event.   

"Fine, alright. So I'll stop blaming myself, okay? What else?"

"Well you think you can do everything on your own. If you want Mai back, you have to accept that you need her sometimes."

"But she doesn't need me at all."

There was a slapping sound, followed by a painful exclamation.

"Not true. Otherwise she wouldn't have saved you. She wouldn't have come after you."

"So what do I do?"

"Well for one, don't keep so many secrets from her. You have to be open. Consider what she thinks. If she knows you value her input, it will make her happy."

"Okay, no secrets."

"And that means actually talking to her about your feelings too."

Toph cackled. 

The earthbender had always hoped Katara would find someone who could talk back to her the way she and Sokka did.  Someone who didn't treat her like a goddess, but a person.  Not a sister to shelter, but a friend to tell it to her straight.  

Toph liked Sugar Queen, but boy did she _love_ her when she was pissed off. 

And Zuko always pissed her off.

What a match. 

"You're working on your anger problems already, so that's good," Katara continued.

"I don't have anger problems."

"…"

"Okay. Maybe some. Is that all, _senpai_?"

"One last thing.  Be yourself."

"Whaa….what the hell, Katara! How am I supposed to do that and change literally everything about myself!"

"She fell in love with _you_ , stupid. And you don't have to change completely to be more open with her! You're open with me, aren't you?"

"…I'm leaving."

"Zuko, you're on fire."

"I'm frustrated. It happens."

Toph shook her head, wandering back to the campsite with a smile on her face. 

Toph couldn't see, but those two were outright _blind._  

 


	9. Chapter 9

Katara was watching Zuko, amused. He didn't like tomatoes. But he ate them anyway. Probably so he wouldn't look childish and picky.

(He was childish and picky.)

"I think we need to get up early tomorrow for some more practice," Sokka said. "Katara and Zuko have their strategy down, but the rest of us need some refining." His gaze briefly flitted to Aang.

"I think we should just play it by year. We don't know what Ozai has in store for us. So many things could change," the Avatar said. He hadn't touched his food, and Katara was worried about him. The last few days he'd been so stressed and cold…not like the Aang she knew at all.

"Well, we should still be prepared," she said, siding with her brother. "Don't you want to be ready when you have to—"

Aang stood up, red faced, and the campfire grew a hot yellow.

"I'm not going to kill Ozai!" he shouted.

His explosive anger took them all by surprise.

"Aang, come on, let's be rational—"

"No! You guys don't get it! You think taking someone's life is so simple.  But even Katara couldn't kill Yon Rha!"

Katara narrowed her eyes. "That was different."

"That was personal. Millions of lives weren't at stake," Zuko defended, and Aang crossed his arms.

"Zuko, how can you kill your own father? Even if it's Ozai?"

Katara glanced nervously at Zuko—it was something she had wondered as well.  "I don't want to kill him, Aang. But I have to think about what's best for everyone. Besides, he tried to kill me on the eclipse. I don't think I can really call him _father_ anymore."

The group openly stared at him, and he seemed to realize he'd let the last detail slip.

"Ozai tried to kill you?" Katara gasped, placing her hand on his arm.  Gently, like a bandage.

Zuko didn't answer, but his eyes said it all. "Look, Aang," he said. "You aren't doing this alone. But you have to think about the world. One way or another Ozai has to pay. You don't have to kill him. You just have to be prepared to."

"I guess I shouldn't expect more from the Fire Nation," Aang hissed, turning on his heels.

Katara gaped at his shoulders as he stalked away. Aang rarely lost control of his emotions like that.

Maybe this whole killing thing was too much for the monk. Aang was too innocent. He didn't understand the hardships she and Zuko had faced. To him, everyone was inherently good, all life was sacred.  He always saw the world in bright, untarnished hues, and while she cherished that about him, it was hard to hold a serious conversation. It was hard to be realistic.

"Don't mind him, guys," Toph said. "He's just jealous."

"Jealous?" Sokka repeated. "Of what?"

Toph nodded toward Zuko and Katara, and the group exchanged confused glances.

"Oh come on, Sugar Queen! You and Sparky are like two peas in a pod. He feels like he's been replaced."

"That's ridiculous," Katara dismissed. "Aang knows I care about him."

"Yeah, but now he knows you care about Zuko too."

"I…"

Katara suddenly felt the small space between her and Zuko transform into a perilous ravine.  She felt the air, charged with tension, embarrassment, nervousness.

Of course she cared about Zuko, but the way Toph implied…

"Aang just needs some time to think things over," Zuko began, ignoring everything Toph had said, much to Katara's relief. "Give him the night to sort things out. He'll be fine."

*****

Unable to sleep a wink, Katara wandered the halls of the beach house.

The Fire Nation was so different from her culture. It was extravagant, loud, arrogant. But she did love the colors, the bright reds and oranges, the way they contrasted the blue. Once they had brought her fear. Now…something like hope.

"Are you worried about Aang?" Zuko asked, appearing from the dark like a loyal shadow.

Katara simply nodded. Wasn't she always worried about him?

"I just…I'm scared for him. This fight, I'm not sure he's ready for it. And…if something were to happen to him I'd just…" she felt tears spring in her eyes. _Idiot_ , she thought. _Stop crying_!

There was silence as they walked along, their thoughts drowning out any conversation. It bothered her that Zuko always had to comfort her about her qualms with Aang. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate his advice, his attentive presence, but she didn't want Zuko to see her moping all the time. She wasn't a _moper._

"I was wrong, you know. You do love him," Zuko said abruptly.

Katara stared at him, wide-eyed. "I…do?"

He watched her behind raven locks. "You want to be with him when he's away, right? You want to see him smile?  Make him happy?  You'd do anything to keep him safe?"

"Yes," Katara whispered without hesitation. And she would.

But those are all things she thought about Zuko, as well.

Did that mean she loved him too?

Wait, wait, _what?_   Love Zuko? Like _that? No way. Not possible._

_And yet..._

Spirits.  She _was_ too young to know her feelings.

She turned away from him to hide the escalating fear.

"I…don't know what kind of love it is," she confessed. "But I _am_ worried. He's my friend.  Maybe my best friend."

"You of all people know Aang's power, his strength. If anyone can take down Ozai, it's him." Zuko gently pulled her back around. "And I know you care about him, but…don't let your worry for him impair your focus. If something happened to you in this fight, _that's_ what would break Aang. Not Ozai."

"Zuko," she sighed, shaking her head.

"It would break me too."

Katara's eyes snapped to his.  He was patient, serious, _sincere._

They watched each other soundlessly.

Then she stepped forward, and she slid her arms around his middle, tucking her head into his shoulder.

Warmth. A unique warmth that was only Zuko.

He smelled like beach sand and campfire smoke, and his arms that wrapped around her were strong, protective.

She'd learned over the years that men possessed different kinds of comfort.

For instance, her father was security. Her brother was home. Aang was hope.

Zuko was…well, she wasn't sure yet.

In a way, he was all those different things combined. She felt safe with him, familiar. She could talk to him without speaking. His name brought a surge of laughter and feigned irritation and friendly competition to her mind, along with a muted sadness and gentleness hidden beneath layers of red and gold.

There was a word for it—that comfort—she was sure, but it didn't come.


	10. Chapter 10

"Zuko?" she whispered, hoping he was still awake.

It took a moment, but the boy finally turned over, his amber eyes reflecting the moonlight.

Katara twisted a piece of Appa's hair between her fingers. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know."

He was being honest, but it hurt. June had told them that Aang didn't exist anymore. What was that supposed to mean? How could Aang just…disappear?

Stupid Aang and the stupid stress he caused her.

A breeze blew through the mountain pass, and she shivered.

"Are you cold?" Zuko asked.

"Just a little."

He nodded for her to move closer, and she made a face.

"What, you still don't trust me?" he teased.

She rolled her eyes and scooted over, turning so that her back was to his chest.

Was this _spooning?_   Is that what Suki had called it?

She didn't even have to touch him to feel the heat from his body, but she nestled against him anyway. There was no harm in this, right? Zuko was just being kind. Nothing more.

She could tell he didn't know what to do with his other hand, so she reached behind her and grabbed his wrist, pulling his arm over her waist.

"If you're going to keep me warm, do it properly."

She felt him laugh against her neck, and her heart skipped a beat.

*****

"I can't sleep," she muttered.  There was too much on her mind, too many fears.

Zuko hummed behind her, barely conscious.

"I'm sorry. I'm just keeping you awake. I'll move back."

"Katara," he whispered.

"What?"

He didn't answer.  Instead, he slid his hand from her waist to her shoulder, and he gently brushed her hair aside.

"...Zuko?"

She waited apprehensively, and then something pressed against the back of her neck.

Katara's mouth parted.  That felt an awful lot like....

He kissed her once more at the junction of her neck and shoulder, and she went stock-still.    He kissed her again, and again, peeling back the collar of her tunic to worship the skin there. Soft, confident kisses.

She was too stunned to move. And maybe, maybe it actually felt nice, but she'd never admit that.

He kissed the back of her shoulder, an open, wet kiss.  

It sent a foreign thrill down her spine, and she turned over to face him.

They lay just inches apart, watching one another.  He tilted his chin toward her, eyes of amber asking her a silent question. 

She gave her answer by leaning closer, grazing his nose with hers.  He smiled as he kissed her cheek, and she closed her eyes, immersed, unafraid.

His lips trailed down to the corner of her mouth, and he whispered her name.  A soft, husky, breath.

And then she woke up in a ring of fire.

*****

Katara watched him enter the tent, and she smiled. Zuko had changed so much, and she was so proud of him. She knew Iroh would be too.

Then she remembered her lustful dream, and she felt heat surge to her cheeks and her stomach.

Spirits. How embarrassing.

Was that normal? Why did she dream about Zuko like that? Kissing her neck? Her face?

And why had it felt so…right? Had June's earlier comment about them being boyfriend and girlfriend freaked her out that much?

Flustered, she wandered back to her own tent.

"What's wrong with you?" Toph asked, sprawled on a sleeping bag, a grin on her face.

"Nothing. I'm just…a little tired."

"Liar."

"What? I am!"

"Katara," the girl sighed. "Admit it. You like him."

Katara played dumb. "Aang?"

 _"Zuko,"_ Toph said drammatically. "You two are so obvious. Late night talks, cuddling. Please, you're an open book, Sugar Queen."

Katara knew she was blushing, but she forced herself to ignore the unidentifiable feeling in her chest. Was it guilt? Excitement? Fear?

"Toph, Zuko and I are just good friends.  Besides. We each have…other people in our lives."

"Whatever. It's your life. Waste it if you want."

The words cut deep, but Katara simply turned over and shut her eyes, shut it all out.

It only took several minutes for Zuko's face to float back to the surface.


	11. Chapter 11

She couldn't stop crying.

When she saw him open his eyes, the tears fell, and they wouldn't stop for all the effort she put in.

Carefully, she helped Zuko up, but she could barely see his face, barely hear his grunts of pain.

He'd almost died. _Died_. For her.

When he'd jumped in front of the lightning her heart had stopped as if she'd been struck anyway. She'd felt the pain of a thousand bolts of electricity when he'd writhed on the ground, calling for her. She hadn't felt that degree of panic since Azula had nearly killed Aang. But this...this would have been worse. The guilt would have consumed her.

As soon as Zuko was able to stand, she tackled him in a hug, still sobbing.

He returned the embrace, but when she didn't pull back, head tucked in his chest to hide the tears, he detached himself to look at her.

"Hey," he said, hands on her shoulders. "It's over; I'm okay now."

She knew this, but her tear glands were broken! She was shaking too.

Spirits. What was wrong with her?

"I was so…scared for you," she hiccuped, her eyes focusing on his scar to avoid his burning gaze.

"Katara," he said.

"You shouldn't have done that, you idiot!"

" _Katara_."

She was hyperventilating. "What if it struck your heart? I wouldn't have been able to heal you! You'd be dead! There'd be no Fire Lord! What were you _thinking_?"

He reached up and cupped her face, forcing her to see him. His eyes were so full of joy and humor and relief that she was momentarily confused. That was Zuko, right? Her Zuko, right? "I was thinking that my friend needed me. I would jump in front of that lightning over and over again if it meant keeping you alive, okay?"

He wiped the tears away, but Katara hardly felt it. The emotion inside her made her numb to any physical contact. Her bruises and scrapes, her burns from Azula—all of it faded away. Zuko, the Fire Nation Prince, had risked the line of the Fire Nation, the future of his home, his people. His life. For a water tribe peasant.

"Promise me you'll never do that again," she whispered, her hands covering his.

He smiled sadly, fondly, and closed his eyes.

"I can't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh this is prob one of my favorite chapters. It's super short, but...it gives me so many feels. Why do I do this to myself?


	12. Chapter 12

Katara hurried to Zuko's room, determined to change his bandages before his coronation. 

She'd become his personal caretaker over the last few days, tending to his injuries, keeping him company while he pouted about Fire Lord duties. Unbeknownst to him, she was also there to keep guard. She was sure Azula had contingency plans tucked up her sleeves, and she was scared for Zuko's life. Zuko, of course, had made his complaints apparent about her constant fuss over him, and as he put it, her 'incessant chatter,' but she didn't mind. She didn't think he really did either.

When she turned the corner, she heard his voice, raspy and soft and warm.  Sounding as if it were accompanied by a smile.  He was so much lighter these days, like his life had just been painted all new colors.  Like he had an all new destiny awaiting him. 

She found him standing by the windowsill, smiling.

At _Mai._

Something dropped into Katara's stomach at the sight of them.  The _pair_ of them.  Something dark and heavy and a bit painful.

She threw herself against the wall to hide, and her hand slid up to her chest. Her heart was pounding, pounding like fists against a wall, screaming.

Why?

Why did it feel like this? Why did it feel like the world was ending?

She'd known this day would come. She'd worked for it—for Zuko to be reunited with his girlfriend. His girlfriend who _loved_ him, she reminded herself.

She had Aang. She loved Aang. After defeating Ozai, he'd met them at the palace, and the Avatar had never seemed so mature, so _possible_ in her eyes. She'd hugged him and kissed his cheek and congratulated him. She'd been so proud.

And they'd all been so happy.

But now…

"Katara?"

She froze. No.

No, no, no.

Taking a deep, steady breath, she willed her emotions away, and she peeked around the doorway.

"What are you doing?" asked Zuko, smirking.

"I just…wanted to give you two some privacy," she said.

He waved her in, rolling his eyes, and she took a few heavy steps toward them.

"Mai, this is Katara," he introduced proudly, addressing his girlfriend.

At first Katara swore Mai had a dangerous glint in her eye, but it melted too quickly, and she gave a small nod. "We've met before. Though it probably wasn't under the best of circumstances."

Katara somehow managed to chuckle, but her throat was tight. She had a feeling Mai wasn't keen on shaking hands, so she merely bowed her head at her.

"Thank you for saving Zuko's life. I'm indebted," Mai said. It was meant to be genuine, but Katara felt like it carried poison in its delivery.

"What are you doing here, Katara? The ceremony starts soon," Zuko said, a curious twitch at the corner of his mouth.

"Oh…I was just…checking up on you," she lied, hiding the gauze behind her back. "Reminding you, as your nurse, not to do anything strenuous or stupid. Which will be hard, I know."

Mai flinched.

Katara realized the woman was not accustomed to their familiarity. It probably sounded like she'd just disrespected the ruler of her country. To his face.

Zuko nodded. "I'll be fine…don't want you crying again."

She flushed, swallowing down an inappropriate retort. She spotted Mai intertwining her fingers in Zuko's, and she took that as a cue.

"Well, I'll see you two in a bit. And Zuko…" she said, looking between him and his girlfriend, "I'm happy for you."

His grin was the last thing she saw before she bolted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do like Mai as a character. But I think she contributed to the regression of Zuko's character development.


	13. Chapter 13

She didn't know if she loved him. She tried to convince herself that she was too young to know the difference between infatuation and love. She and Zuko had only really known each other for a few months. You couldn't possibly fall in love in the span of a few months, could you?

No.

And besides. Zuko was finally happy.

She wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize that. Especially when she couldn't pinpoint her own muddled feelings.

Especially when she knew the unidentified feeling couldn't possibly be returned.

So she kissed Aang. She _chose_ Aang.

* * *

Katara's eyes fixed on the expanse of the Earth Kingdom.

She couldn't sleep. She had too much on her mind, too many ifs and maybes, Fire Moths darting from reality and make believe.

Zuko.

Zuko and Mai.

Aang and Zuko.

 _No_ Zuko.

Yeesh.

She turned to go back upstairs, and she yelped.

Impossibly, he was sitting there at the table, hunched forward. His head was bent, leaning on a stack of parchment, and he was dead to the world, asleep.

Katara sighed.

Zuko agreed to stay at Iroh's tea shop for the weekend to celebrate its grand opening. He'd managed to keep Fire Lord responsibilities out of conversation, but clearly, not out of mind.

She quietly walked up to him, and she smiled. His face was so peaceful when he slept, when his brows weren't creased in worry, his face tight with tension.  His hair was down, the long, ebony locks sweeping over his eyes, his ears. It was free, stubborn.  _H_ _im_.

Katara brushed a strand of hair aside. And another. Until her fingers succumbed to his gravity and traced his scar and cheek and jawline.

Hot tears brimmed at what could have been.

Before she could turn away, Zuko's hand snatched hers. She gasped, startled and humiliated, and she slapped him until he let go.

"Ow!" he hissed, raising his head from the table.

Katara glared.

"Sorry…" he managed, flushing red. "I thought you were Mai."

She swallowed and looked away so she could wipe her eyes. Spirits, she cried too much lately.

"Are you okay?" he asked, waving the candle flames back to life. The kitchen bloomed with golden warmth.

Katara stepped away, discreetly, she hoped. "I'm fine."

He just stared at her, waiting.

She really wanted to tell him what was on her mind. She wanted to confess. She wanted someone else to tell her what to _do_ for once.

"I'm just a little sad," she said. When he didn't ask, she continued. "We've become so close, and now…I feel like we're all going our separate ways. We have real life responsibilities now. I don't know when I'll see everyone again. When I'll see _you_ again."

He was quiet for a moment, frowning at her.

"It's not goodbye. It's not like we'll stop communicating," he assured her. "It's going to take a while for things to settle down in the Fire Nation, but Aang and I have been talking about a new project…we'll see each other a lot when we start planning."

She wasn't convinced.

Zuko stood, approaching her carefully. "And I also remember a certain someone promising me she would help me find my mother. So there's that."

Katara finally looked at him. The ends of his mouth curved upward, and she breathed out, laughing softly.

She stepped into his embrace, and her hands clutched at his tunic tightly. This would be the last time she hugged him like this. Then she had to let go. She had to distance herself.

But she had one last night to soak up his heat.

"Why do I feel like that's not all that's bothering you?" he asked, his lips grazing the crown of her head.

 _Because you know me_ , she thought miserably, unwinding her arms and pulling back. "Because you're paranoid."

"I thought _you_ were the paranoid one. I'm the angry one, remember?"

"Oh, yes that's right…we make a good team, don't we?" 

He gave her a sidelong glance, and something changed in his autumn eyes. "We do."


	14. Chapter 14

She didn't want to see him.

She didn't.

Really.

Aang captured her hand in his. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing…" she lied. "We've just been away for so long. It will be great to see what has become of the Fire Nation since."

"More like Fire _Lord_ since," Toph muttered from Appa's saddle.

Katara shot her a look, and the blind girl grinned like she could sense the heat.

She hadn't seen the Fire Lord in two years. Their journey to find his mother had been…modified to include the entire gang. It was then she'd realized the distance between them had grown significantly, a dark and vicious void consuming their friendship.

It was her own fault. She'd stopped writing him letters. She'd declined his offer to stay at the palace when she was visiting the time before. She'd essentially cut him off after the war.

And then she'd severed what lasting connection they had by leaving for home. The most isolated place on the planet.

She'd convinced herself that her crush on Zuko had disappeared over the last couple years. She and Aang were perfect, and she'd been distracted with her ambassador duties and the South Pole tundra. Whatever she'd once felt for the banished prince had died.

Toph sighed. "Did you hear about Zuko and Mai breaking up? Again?"

"I never did like Mai," Sokka said. "She was all…knifes and eyeliner."

"And you're all boomerang and ponytail," Toph cackled.

"And meat," added Aang, laughing. He removed his hand from Katara's, shaking it a little. She'd been crushing his fingers thinking about Zuko.

"Sorry," she whispered.

He arched a brow at her but said nothing.

"He's got some other chick now. His bodyguard, I think," Toph continued.

Katara struggled to keep a neutral expression. "Good for Zuko. He deserves to be happy."

"We _all_ deserve that," Aang corrected. His smile warmed her heart. And it left a third degree burn.

*****

"Are we ever going to talk about what happened between you two, Sugar Queen?"

"Nothing happened."

"Right."

Katara frowned, and she wiped her hands on her gown.

"So you're just Clammy Sammy over there for no reason."

"I'm…not fond of big crowds."

Toph laughed at that one.

The ballroom doors opened, and a guard announced the Fire Lord's arrival. Katara held her breath, prepared for the change. She'd begun to forget Zuko's face over the years. Sure, she still remembered his copper eyes, his raven hair, and his scar, but the details had faded with her crush. To convince herself to move forward, she'd imagined a warped appearance of her old friend. Perhaps he got into a nasty fight, and his teeth were inverted awkwardly. Or maybe, he'd developed a hunchback or…or a giant mole on his nose.

Surely he couldn't have grown more attractive.

Right?

She saw the crown first, then a shoulder of red fabric. Too many people hovered over her vision.

Then he stepped into view, and she wished she'd never stepped foot off the vessel. 

Zuko's appearance sent an ache throughout her ligaments, and she felt weak. He was…he was…

"Hot damn," Toph whistled, and the surrounding attendants glared at them over their shoulders. 

But if only she _knew..._

In just two years Zuko had grown taller, broader, and chiseled. His hair was pulled back in the royal fashion, but a few wild bangs fell loose around his temple. He was handsome. So infuriatingly handsome.

His eyes glowed with the life of the celebration, but they held an innate sadness, a familiar melancholy.

And, she realized, they were staring _straight_ back at her.

Katara held his gaze, determined not to cower. She had nothing to be afraid of, nothing to regret, so why did she feel the desperate need to run away from here? Why did she want Zuko to chase after her?

Something flickered in the Fire Lord's features. Almost imperceptible, but present. Was it anger? Surprise? She wasn't sure.

He turned away, holding his hand out for someone.

It didn't register at first.

It didn't make sense.

Katara stared as Suki blushed and wove her arm through Zuko's.


	15. Chapter 15

"What does a guy do to have to get a little attention around here?"

Zuko turned from his guests and beamed. "Aang."

They embraced tightly, laughing. Time apart had not eroded their friendship, and Katara's lungs pinched at how badly she'd messed things up.

Zuko held the Avatar at arm's length. "How was life on the ice cube?"

Aang chuckled. "Refreshing. You should have paid us a visit. Katara's grandmother kept asking why the Fire Lord hadn't graced us with his presence!"

Zuko's eyes shifted to Katara's, and she attempted a smile.

"Katara," he said, bowing his head.

She was disappointed. A part of her had anticipated a hug.

Wait. What? No. No hugs. No proximity. 

She nodded stiffly. "Zuko."

Aang looked between them strangely, glancing at Sokka, who merely shrugged. Zuko gave Katara's brother a Water Tribe greeting—a firm handshake and a hard clap on the shoulder. Sokka hid his jealousy well, and he actually appeared genuinely happy to see Zuko, much to Katara's dismay.

"Sparky!" Toph boomed, and she punched the Fire Lord in the arm affectionately. Zuko pacified his bewildered guards over her head, sighing.

"Hi, Toph. Still refuse to dress appropriately, I see." His eyes grazed over her bare feet and simple, unwashed tunic.

"Would you prefer I wear nothing at all?"

Zuko rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Forget I said anything."

Toph grinned, and the corners of Zuko's lips twitched.

"You're all here!"

Katara froze at the voice and glimpsed a flash of brunette before she was enveloped in a hug. A very strong, tight hug.

Suki.

Katara had never seen the woman in Fire Nation clothing and makeup before.  She looked beautiful, and just as fierce as always. 

Suki beamed. "How are you, Katara? You look amazing." Without pause, the Kyoshi Warrior embraced a resistant Toph, and kissed Aang's cheek. When she got to Sokka, she smiled nervously.

They hadn't been together for a year now, ending things on a matter of necessity. But now she was with Zuko. Who was standing _right_ there…

Katara held her breath. 

"Sokka," Suki said, narrowing her eyes. "You're taller."

Sokka crossed his arms, lifting his chin. "You're...not."

They glared at one another, and then smiled in unison, laughing off the lingering awkwardness.  The gang joined in, passing smiles, and it was like stepping back in time.  

Old friends. Old faces. 

Old dynamics.

For the most part.

Zuko's gaze flitted back to Katara's, but she turned away before she caught fire.

Two years. For two years she'd been away, and Zuko's impact on her was even greater than before. She thought she'd quit, but she'd only suffered from withdrawal.

Damn him.

*****

The formal dinner was miserable for Katara. She wanted nothing more than to disappear.

Everyone shared a brief story to fill the gang in on his or her time away. Toph boasted about her bending school, Sokka highlighted the successes of rebuilding the Pole, Aang elaborated on his peace treaties, and Zuko and Suki finished each other's sentences as they disclosed the biggest concerns in the Fire Nation. It was finally Katara's turn.

But there hadn't been much to add...

As she elaborated on some of her projects back home, she kept her eyes rooted to Lady Ursa and Iroh, refusing to even brush the side of Zuko's vision.

"You've been quite busy," Iroh noted, smiling at her. "Surely that explains your absence…" He pointedly glared at Zuko.

"I have," Katara said softly. "Have you missed me that much, Iroh?"

The others laughed, and Iroh beamed. "Deeply.  Days have been dull without the light of our favorite waterbender."

She looked down to hide her blush, toying with the food on her plate.

"So, Aang, what are you planning next?" asked Lady Ursa.

Katara could still feel Zuko's eyes on her, so she finally sent him an icy glower to cut it out. She didn't expect him to be waiting for it, for that twitch of amusement.  He raised his wine glass to his lips and looked away, finally releasing her from his gaze.  

She was tempted to bloodbend that hidden smirk away.

"Well…" Aang began, smiling broadly, "I think I need to start rebuilding some of the Air Nomads' culture. You know, eventually try to repopulate the Western Air Temple."

Zuko choked into his wine, earning a dubious look from Suki.

Just then, the music began, the orchestra flying into Fire Nation Festival tunes. People crowded into the courtyard of the palace.

"Zuko, let's dance!" Suki pleaded, tugging on his arm. He looked at her like she was crazy.

"Fire Lords don't dance."

"You're such a buzz kill."

"I'm pretty sure you can't talk to me like that."

She leaned down and kissed his nose, and Zuko glared at her with feigned annoyance. "Sokka will dance with me," she declared, glancing at Katara's brother expectantly.  "Won't you, Sokka?"

Sokka stilled, the meet jiggling on his fork. "I…"

Suki gave him the _eyes_ , and he sighed dramatically. "Fine. But I only know Water Tribe dances. None of this Fire Nation nonsense."

She grinned brightly and pulled him down the stairs of the raised platform.

Katara frowned. That seemed awfully…forward. But she supposed Zuko had overcome his hot-tempered jealousy, considering the fond look on his face as he watched his girlfriend dance with her former lover.

"You want to dance, Katara?" Aang asked. He knew the answer. She didn't know why he bothered.

"No…I'm not feeling very well."

Toph stood from the table. "I'll dance with you, Twinkletoes! Anything to escape all this tension."

Aang smiled, taking her arm. "Okay, but you can't earthbend me into the ground if I step on your foot."

"No promises."

It didn't take long for everyone to trickle away from the table. Save for her and Zuko.

They sat at opposite ends, staring at each other.

Katara bit her lip. " _What_?"

"What?"

"Why are you looking at me?"

"I haven't seen you in ages."

"Well stop."

He didn't.

"Dance with me," he requested.

Katara gaped. "Are you serious? Dance with Suki!"

"I don't want to dance with her. I'm asking you." His grimace shrank, and a glint of humor sparked in spheres of caramel. "Unless you're scared."

She set down her fork.

It was a challenge. 

"Fine."

It was clear they were both angry now, though she wasn't entirely sure why he was upset.

It didn't matter. This was familiar territory. She could handle old, infuriating Zuko.

He met her at the edge of the dance floor, and up so close, she caught whiff of his scent.  It almost made her laugh. 

He still smelled like smoke. Campfire smoke.  

She tried not to feel nostalgic, but summer nights and hushed tones and anecdotes came cartwheeling to the present.

He held his hand out, and begrudgingly, she accepted it, curtsying with a scowl.

He pulled her in, and they were off. The music had changed to a slower rhythm, and she wondered how he had schemed his way into this situation.

She was so gullible. He knew it only took one insinuation about her abilities and she was game for just about anything. He _knew_ her.

"Tell me what's going on," he said quietly, as he spun her around.

She avoided his gaze. "Nothing. Why are you acting weird?"

"Because _you_ are."

His hand was so warm. His breath, so close to her ear, like fire.

She shuddered.

People were staring at them. She saw a glimpse of Aang, watching her with a mixture of pride and hurt, and another of Sokka, looking quite distressed at his predicament with Suki. The guests were murmuring to each other, and she had a hunch as to what they were gossiping about.

Zuko was holding her close to him, unnecessarily close. His hand was on her lower back, and he hadn't looked away from her once. Was he trying to get her to blush? Was this some kind of game to him?

She finally made eye contact with him, and the warmth there startled her. Why was he looking at her like that? Didn't he understand what he could do to her with that blazing fire? Didn't he realize it turned all her morals to ash?

"Stop. I'm done," she breathed. She couldn't take this. Him.

Zuko's hand tightened on hers, and he frowned. "The song's not over…"

"Zuko…"

He dipped her low, then back up, turning her around and around, and she thought she was going to be sick.

"I said stop!" she pushed away, her eyes damp.

Zuko stood there in the midst of the dancers, searching her eyes for answers. "What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like a stranger?"

"Because we _are_ strangers!" she cried.  A few people turned to look, and a few more stopped to listen.

Zuko stepped forward, snatching her hand again. He might have been intimidating to everyone else in his crown and his cloak, but she still saw the awkward teenager who hated tomatoes.  She still saw _him,_  and she wasn't sure if it was a curse or a blessing _._   "Since when? Since when are we strangers?"

She felt hot. There were too many eyes on them. 

She couldn't hide here, and she was _positive_ she couldn't hide her feelings.

"Since always."

The song ended, and she backed away, retreating into the crowd of faces, away from the boy she'd once loved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katara being dramatic af.


	16. Chapter 16

Footsteps.

"You've made a scene."

Katara scoffed, but it held no scorn, only sadness. She looked out to the garden and the pond—anything but him.

"What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you even come?" Zuko demanded, and the floor rocked beneath her feet. "Why did you come if you _hate_ me so much?"

Katara smashed her eyes close. No. This was all she'd hoped to avoid. 

"You _do_ hate me," he breathed, soft and broken. He sounded like that boy she'd screamed at in the catacombs of Ba Sing Se.

Katara shook her head, but she didn't want to see his face. His beautiful face and eyes.

"I don't hate you," she choked.

"Then how do you explain…this? _You_ stopped communicating. _You_ stopped tagging along with Aang on his visits. You…left. It's all on you."

She backed away and blinked the tears out of her eyes. She knew that. She _knew_ it. But she'd done it for him, right? For him and Aang!

Zuko followed, angry. "Katara!" he shouted. There was desperation in his voice. "Just _tell_ me what I did wrong…"

She let out a sob because he didn't deserve this. She was being _cruel_.

"I loved you!" she blurted.

The words sucked all the oxygen out of the air.

Zuko stared at her, uncomprehending, as if unsure he'd heard her correctly.

"Wha…you what?"

"I loved you. That's why I left," she admitted. Her heart was going to splinter through her ribcage at the rate it was beating.

Zuko closed his eyes, shaking his head. It was silent for several moments as he battled his inner thoughts. Was he mad? Was he annoyed that she'd avoided him over such a thing? 

He finally looked at her, brow furrowed, eyes bleeding with pain. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

She laughed mirthlessly. "How could I? You were always with someone." Her face darkened. "And you still are…"

What was she doing ruining everything? This was why she separated herself from him in the first place. To preserve his happiness. After everything he'd been through, he deserved someone who loved him, completely and thoroughly. He deserved someone _he_ loved the same way.

She retreated again, but Zuko moved around to block her path, grasping her arm.

"Suki isn't my girlfriend, Katara," he stressed. "But she's my best friend, and it's easier for me if my suitors can't tell the difference."

Katara swallowed.  Her throat was too dry, barren of words. 

It was an act? Suki hadn't fallen hopelessly in love with him?

"You said you loved me. Why past tense?" he ventured, eyes fixed on hers.

"Aang," she answered sadly.

He exhaled shakily. He was crumbling, and she wasn't sure she could watch. "That's the only reason? That's…all?"

It was her confession. Short. Simple. But brimful of explanations.

The tears were falling now. "It's not so dismissive, Zuko! Aang has been there for me since the beginning."

He shook his head, smiling joyously. "That's the issue, though, isn't it? Aang needs you, so you'll stick by his side. It comes down to what he wants."

"Zuko, I love him." 

"I don't doubt you. You always do the right thing, Katara."

It was a jab, and it bruised her dutifully. She wrenched her arm away from his grip. "Why do you even care how I feel? You've never been interested before now!"

"Are you serious?" he cried, palpable disbelief in his eyes. 

He ran a hand through his hair, and she saw the hardness melt off his face. It was replaced by sadness. Overwhelming solitude.

"Katara…you and my uncle were the only two people in my life who stood behind me," he said. "You believed in me before anyone else. You believed I could be a better person than my father. And then you disappeared. You vanished. Just like my mother!"

"Zuko…"

"We told each other we were going to stay friends. I never dreamed of a day when we _weren't_. But then, when we saw each other, you ignored me. When we didn't, you pretended I didn't exist. All at once I lost the sole person I was still… _breathing_ for."

Her mouth opened and closed, and Zuko reached for her, pulling her closer, reeling her in.

"Katara…it's so _hard_ to love you," he said, leaning his forehead against hers. "And it's so goddamn easy."

She inhaled shakily, crying, and he cupped her face. His hand was warm like the sun. 

"Zuko...we can't."

"I know."

He didn't kiss her. He just gazed into her eyes, holding her to him. It was a goodbye, she realized. He was saying goodbye.

"Katara…live for your own happiness. Just once. Be selfish."

More tears fell, and he wiped them aside.

"Zuko. I don't…" she thought of Aang, probably searching for her, calling her name. She backed away in frustration. She wasn't Mai. She couldn't put herself first.

"I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry, Zuko."

He stood there watching as she cried, as she attempted to convince herself of her words.

He nodded, accepting her decision, and he turned around, facing the corridor that led back to his world.

"Katara?" he whispered.

She looked up, blinking back the tears.

"You're a bad liar."

*****

"Wait. We just got here and now you want to leave?" Aang asked, scratching his head. "That's…Appa's not quite ready yet. It was a huge flight from the Pole…"

Katara glared. "Aang…I can't stay here."

"Why not?"

"I just can't."

The monk sighed. "This has to do with Zuko, doesn't it? Did he say something to hurt your feelings?"

She shook her head into her pillow. Aang stood there pathetically, waiting.

The door opened, light engulfing the bedroom. "Hey, Aang?" Sokka said. "Do you mind if I have a word with Katara? Alone?"

"No problem Sokka! I'll go...check on Momo."

As soon as the door shut, her brother turned to her, irritated.

"Okay. Here's the deal. We're gonna have an open discussion. No lies. No euphemisms, okay?"

She scowled.

"Tell me why you and Zuko are acting like idiots."

"We had a fight."

"About…"

"About nothing really."

"Katara."

"Sokka, it doesn't matter."

He sat down next to her, pushing her over so she had to face him. "I wish you would quit saying that. Every time Zuko comes up, it _doesn't matter_. But he's our friend. And I don't like this weird awkwardness between the two of you. It makes things awkward for the rest of us."

"Sorry to _inconvenience_ you."

Sokka massaged his temples, unable to handle her sarcasm on top of all the alcohol. "Is this about your stupid crush on him?"

She stilled, snapping her head up at him.

Sokka chuckled at her surprise. "Of course I knew. I think Aang knows too. And Toph's betting on your wedding."

She looked at her brother, at his concern, his sincerity, and she dropped the façade. For once she could confide in someone about this whole…mess. She could let her pride disintegrate.

"I told him I didn't love him."

"But you do."

"I love Aang."

"You love both of them for different reasons," he corrected.

The truth was toxic. It turned her blood to poison, and she felt nauseous, fake.

Her eyes glistened. "What do I do Sokka?"

"This is your life, Katara. I can't decide for you," he staggered to his feet, steadying himself against the dresser. "But as much as that Fireball pisses me off, he did save your life…and he does care about you. If you really love him, I won't smash his face in."

A watery smile pushed through the tears. "Thanks, Sokka."

He turned to look at her over his shoulder. "Suki told me about their fake relationship. The only reason he doesn't want all these suitors at his neck is because he either hasn't found the right girl yet...or he already _has…"_

He shut the door, leaving Katara to stare at the ceiling as tears trickled down over her hairline.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I really love the Ao3 format, so I'll probably post future fics both here and on fanfiction. Thanks for the kudos!

"They're leaving?" he repeated.

Iroh nodded, glancing worriedly at Zuko's mother.

Zuko chewed his lip. Of course. She'd told him to his face that she didn't love him. But he'd still hoped…after all this time, he'd hoped…

He turned to the fireplace, its embers pulsing with orange light. "Very well. Send Suki to see them off."

"You aren't going yourself?" Ursa chided. "They're your friends. Who knows how long it will be until you see them again?"

"Aang and I have work to do on Republic City. I'll be seeing him and other ambassadors soon enough."

"And the others?" Iroh pressed. "Lady Katara?"

The fire flared at the mention of her name. "What about her?"

A hand grazed Zuko's shoulder, pulling him around gently. His mother watched him with sorrowful compassion. "Zuko, do not deny the way you feel."

He frowned. "I don't…feel anything."

"I've known how you felt about the girl since you first introduced us. Then it became obvious when she left…and you kept asking if any new letters had arrived, or if the messenger hawk lost her invitation to your birthday celebration." Iroh chuckled, and Zuko shot him a look. "Zuko," Ursa continued softly, "do you not see the way she looks at you?"

"You mean with contempt and loathing? Yes I do."

"She feels the same, and she's conflicted," Ursa explained. Her hand moved from his shoulder to his heart. "You have to convince her to stay."

"I can't. She's set on leaving again," he said, though his voice broke at the mere thought of it. Hearing Katara say those words aloud, that she had actually…loved him, had ignited the bits of him he'd long presumed dead and gone. He'd fallen for the waterbender early on, but it was so blatantly clear that she loved Aang. He'd pushed his feelings aside for the sake of their friendship.

If only he'd known that would be its downfall.

"She won't stay," he said softly.

"Then give her a reason to, Zuko."

Ursa left the room, and Zuko bent over his desk, hands curling into the wooden corners.

"Your mother is very wise, nephew," his uncle said. The older man placed his hand on the door, glancing back. "But Katara is Water Tribe. They are a very proud people. And they are very, very generous. She thinks the Avatar needs her. She doesn't realize you need her more."

The door clicked shut, and Zuko was alone.

Of course Zuko needed Katara. How was it not obvious? Spirits, he told her she was the reason he was still _breathing_ for Agni's sake.

 _Katara_.

He missed their late night talks. Her sarcasm and gentle smile. He missed her soft, cool hands on his stomach when she'd healed his wound.

He'd thought Mai would fill the emptiness in his chest, and for a while, she had. He'd been happy. But he'd never been complete. She was too...similar, too dark.  He'd felt himself slipping back into his old ways with her, taking the easy path.

Then there was Katara. She was his friend, his partner, his everything.  Maybe it was impossible to grow so close over the span of a few months, but he'd never felt so…whole.

Katara was annoying and stubborn. She was an idealist.  Emotional. But she had taught him humility. She had taught him love. 

She'd challenged him to do better.  

And he couldn't let her go again. Fire Nation were a proud people too, but he would forget his honor, forget his throne, if he could just...hold her.

He had to try one last time to change her mind. If she could look him in the eyes and deny his love, then so be it. But he wouldn't let her go until he was convinced she was happy.

He stalked to his door, swinging it open, prepared to find her before she could disappear.

And he froze, staring down at a pair of wet blue eyes. 

*****

Katara stood there, her fist still raised in an interrupted knock.

They gazed at each other, silent, unprepared.

"Katara, I—"

"I can't stop thinking about you!" she cried, her voice bouncing off the walls of the hallway. "I've pretended for three and a half years that you were just…just… _just_. But you singed everything, and it all smells like you and looks like you and sounds like you!"

Zuko couldn't believe what was happening. He leaned against the door in case his knees gave out.

"I saw you with Mai, being happy with Mai, and I knew you loved her. I loved Aang…I still love him, but I don't….he's not you!" she finished with a sob. "He's not you," she repeated, and she hung her head.

Zuko resurfaced, and he hesitantly took her hand in his. "Katara…you beat me to it."

She glanced up at him, vulnerable and confused and _lovely._  

"I was just about to chase Appa all around the world again to tell you how I feel," he said. He threaded his fingers through hers, unsurprised by how well they fit together.  

She watched him, waiting.

"I was going to prepare this long speech about why I need you to function properly and what you mean to me, but…" he leaned down, "all you really need to know is that I love you. I always have. I always will. No buts. No maybes. No nevermind's."

He closed his eyes.

"This…what I feel...this can't fade."

She exhaled shakily, and their noses brushed.

"I love you too," she whispered, smiling timidly. "And unfortunately, I can't stop."

He rolled his eyes. _"Unfortunately."_

They kissed, and Zuko felt the all the walls between them melt away.  All the pain and uncertainty, the fear and regret. She was everything he didn't deserve, and everything he needed.  An antidote. A challenge.

He breathed her in, and she ran her hands through his hair, and he laughed against her. 

She laughed with him, until they were no longer kissing, just laughing and smiling and holding one another. 

 

Loved. 

_Happy._


End file.
